Discovery Life presents: This aspect of autism is all too real for some families – but Joey’s parents handle it like pros. Read more at: http://blog.theautismsite.com/the-reality-of-autism/#UiPAif4tAqL6ttye.99
It looks so easy, controlled and smart? Well, I cry EVERYTIME I see this method used. Once it's started there is NO going back so DON'T use this on a small child, they grow up and there is no stopping. People that use holding need to use it once they started, never abuse them either. You can find other solutions, no real professional will promote holding therapy. Make sure you are aware of the therapy and it's pros and cons. And then, never belittle another family that only has holding therapy left ... they did not ask for your judgement. Sometimes, we don't know the whole story.
I will NEVER forget when my child was subjected to holding therapy ... violence has no place in therapy. You hurt my child ... in 2006/7 and again in 2012/15. The times I missed inbetween I did not really miss - I just will never understand what kind of profesional you were to throw me out when I kept saying we have other ways ... thankfull for 3 years of supervised visits. The reports stump even the most hardcore professionals - they had no words when I kept pointing out what they saw and the others wrote ... wonder how they explain holding therapy as a profesional solution when the supervised visitation officers ... saw no such need, not even when my kid hurt so much he was dying and screaming inside all at once.
I feel so sorry for these parents, having to hold their child. I know inside they can with a very stable team reverse this. But I dont have the team to fight for their dignity. I will in time learn to see this without crying ... but years have not changed that. And the knowledge to know they have no other choice at this point in their childs life makes me sad to see 'cos they have to be very strong people to help their children ... therefore I will always make sure they know they are doing the right thing, and that they can when there is more money and time do more. It saddens me to say this. Autism awareness still needs so much work. May more people be taught not to go for holding therapy ... not for aftercare for adoptions, trauma, autism - no matter what not even to get that one blood test, tooth done ... once it's done there is no going nack find a decent doctor and CPS needs to go to hell. Only to save a life - is the person dying? Then yes, and then KNOW it needs lotøs of followup for a long long time ... and holding or hugging is not to make a person feel better unless they invite you. An invitation can also be through force ... We don't go for close body contact on the streets either ... imagine how people will react if we made that experiment? Imagine the ones that don't say no ... just think how people freak at inappropriate contact and know holding is inappropriate contact that becomes a normal procedure. People learn to accept it ... and defend it.
There is almost no going back once holding therapy is a solution. I am thankfull people noticed I did not need their methods. I pray the psychologists soon sees the school is a force, a force not needed cos he actually loves learning. He is just not in the right tribe ... I know how that feels cos we have a hard time understanding autism too, and know some of the kids there where held inappropriately and on their road to recovery. It always starts at some point ... at least the headmaster got me and also shares my views, now there are two. They don't see they are the same ... each in their special department but they are!
Kids know when they don't have to fear "a holding" og expect one. Parents are victoms when profesionals use holding as a solution and not as emergency care. Socialworkers and politicians should realise that. They dont solve their office problems throwing another dont he floor do they now? Emergency care was figuring out how that boy could express his emens emotions, he has in a safe manner. I suggest behavour cams and specilists that find his triggers so those get removed one trigger at a time. Years it might take then his brain can help him and learn new behaviours to cope. Holding is a method, one I never will be able to allow but know once it's allowed going back is very very difficult. And there are many other snake oil treatments - it's only human to try them.
Those two parents are really in need of alot more and are doing an amazing job caring for their child, even with the choice of holding therapy. Never forget that - we are not in their shoes and none of us would cope with their life, so remember holding therapy is their last option. I hope no parent has to go there. You cannot change their world without joining it long enough to feel their real situation.
And therapists, bad ones, suggest holding as a solution - run with your child. So staff cutbacks and home care can be enforced. Politicians have no idea what they actually are hearing about ... it's like buying a used car, or house not seen ... why politicians sign contracts trusting things they have not seen or never needed can go wrong, it does and that is scary.
We need to talk about both sides of these cases. Sadly the government here has decided not to hear the parents and chose more of this. My case is one where holding was used ... their case is where holding is a need stemming from the implementation of holding. Prevention is they way forward and education! But that takes listeners to understand. Explaining is very hard in these debates - so best is one person at a time, one case at a time, please never start this not anywhere ... not for that decayed tooth, blood test, pill ... figure out how not to end up in a situation where neglect is the end story and know holding therapy often, not always is actually neglect. Why promote neglect?
Sadly as people get used to this as a therapy, treatment some cases it is used for is neglect. Only a professional team can spot the difference. My socialworker actually pay people to do this ... with my tax money on my child. I wiull never understand how millions was used to ensure this "treatment" each time I have to fight to get the "right" equipment, team or people for alot less money to solve that they could not. It's a balance when they scare me as not to be accused for neglect ... but today we all know who neglected my child. Sadly, seeing this makes me scream, cry and realise they did not know any better. But why are they not learning as fast as holding therapy is gaining ground?
Come on #dkPol cant you see the cost of this in the long run?